Ask the Lonely
by Novelist Pup
Summary: It seems Naruto had more Innocence than the villagers gave him credit for. :DGMNaruto Xover: :Hiatus:
1. Chapter 1

**Ask the Lonely**

First off, this is a **Crossover** between D.Gray-Man and Naruto. Both canons shall mingle and mix, creating one _super_ canon of canon proportions.

Second, D.Gray-Man NAMES. I cannot stress this enough, ever, in my life. I don't know whether or not her name is Lenalee, Linali, Rinali, Rinari, Linari, or whatever. I read the American manga, so I'm just going to go by whatever the hell their names are in that.

And lastly, constructive criticism. Help me get better at writing by pointing out my mistakes and how to do better. I may love to write, but that doesn't mean I'm any good at it.

Yeah, that's all; I'll stop distracting you now.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or D.Gray-Man. Both belong to their respective creators, the end.**

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* * *

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_Prologue_

_It was like a conscious nightmare. _

_Straight out of the worst of dreams, except for the part where he was wide awake. _

_Gray grotesque figures walking around town, slumped over and mingling in with the humans. Honestly, they smelled horrible, like explosives and death. They smirked at him, scaring him with their disgustingly brown mouths and their lifeless pitch black eyes. _

_As if asking, _"What shall you do about it?"

_But whatever, maybe he was just seeing things._

_Chapter One_

"This is your newest mission," Komui Lee stated the moment the four exorcists sat in front of his desk.

Allen Walker flipped through the book, reading the seemingly important lines. "What's going on here?" he asked, looking up at the chief.

Komui sipped at his tea. "We've gotten a tip from our finders towards an amazing increase in Akuma activity and the location of Innocence," he looked down at the papers on his desk. "The Millennium Earl seems to have gone even farther out in the world, as far as extremely isolated areas that were unknown to have even existed."

Lenalee Lee frowned. "No one knew that it existed? Then how did the Millennium Earl find it?"

"It is undoubtedly easy to say that he must have his resources, like we ourselves do." Komui replied. Lavi relaxed in his seat, the mission booklet at his feet.

"So, how long is this going to take?" he asked lightly, grinning. Komui pushed his glasses up with his finger and sighed.

"I can't exactly say, unfortunately. We have no idea how bad the Akuma activity there is, so we can't exactly tell you how long it will take. For starters, you'll be there for a month, but be aware that you might be there even longer once we get the full situation."

Yuu Kanda rolled his eyes. "Tsk. Are you going to keep talking about nothing or are you going to tell us where the hell we're going?"

Komui smiled; sloshing his tea and making a few drops spill out and hit the papers on his desk. "You shouldn't be so rude, it's very unbecoming."

Allen smiled disarmingly. "Perhaps you should stop egging Kanda on and just tell us, Komui."

The Chinese chief sighed. "If I must, then so be it," he snapped black eyes to Kanda. "The location is on a series of isolated islands in the Kansei region of Japan, complete with their own little civilization with advancements we've never before seen."

Kanda glared. "Why're you looking at me so pointedly?"

Komui gazed at him dispassionately. "Since you four will be going to Japan, it is up to you to translate as no one else knows extensive Japanese like you do. Lenalee knows bits and pieces, but not enough,"

Lavi scratched his chin. "Well, I don't know nearly as much as Yuu, but I _do_ know a good chunk of the language, so maybe I can help out too?" he offered, cocking his eyebrow. Allen chuckled.

"I feel really useless in this situation," he said.

Kanda snorted. "It shouldn't be first time, bean sprout,"

Komui held up a hand before anymore words could be exchanged. "Allen, you shouldn't feel useless in the least, since you're the most important part of it all,"

The white-haired boy blinked. "What do you mean by that?"

The Chinese man unceremoniously dumped the rest of the tea on the papers scattered on his desk, smiling as he did so. "The Innocence found there is a bit…_special_," he started. "It's quite the phenomenon, since it's related to a level three Akuma. It was found about fifteen years ago, and was just recently rediscovered."

"But what does that have to do with Allen?" Lenalee asked, glaring at her brother.

Komui smirked. "The Innocence is an Akuma, practically,"

Lavi spoke up. "So why are we going to get it?"

"The Innocence has fused with an Akuma, and both have intermingled with a human host, which is something akin to Allen's curse," Komui explained.

Allen gulped audibly. "So it's a parasite-type Innocence?"

Komui shook his head. "Not exactly, more like a stagnant Innocence, as it doesn't necessarily release unless there is danger to the human's life,"

"Then how is it related to my condition?" Allen asked.

"The human is reported to have a curse that causes the Akuma and the Innocence to fuse, which should sound familiar," Komui replied. A long silence stretched, the four exorcists looking everywhere but each other. Allen fiddled with his gloved hands, waves of distress rolling off of him.

Kanda stood up suddenly, gripping his Mugen tight. "Get me when we leave, I can't take this crap anymore,"

Lavi grinned, running his fingers through his shock of red hair. "Will do, Yuu!"

Kanda grunted in response as he stalked out, slamming the door behind him. Komui rolled his eyes from behind his glasses.

"He really needs to learn some patience," he muttered. Lenalee glared.

"You aren't much better brother," she frowned at the mess on his desk. "You do know that Reever'll have your head for this, right?"

Komui smiled. "Only if he finds out I did it," he said sweetly.

"Find out you spilled tea on important documents on purpose? I already know," a distinctly Australian voice stated, slamming a hand on the wet surface of the desk. Komui looked up at the glare of his underling and gulped.

Lavi laughed. "Busted!" he crowed.

Lenalee sighed and got out the chair, brushing off her shirt. "You never learn, Komui," she chided and walked out after patting Allen's head. Lavi smiled and scooted closer to Allen, throwing his arm around his friend. He began to rock his body and brought his head closer to Allen's ear.

"Don't sweat it, bean sprout," he assured, rocking Allen along with him. "We'll defeat the Akuma and get the Innocence like always, since we're just that awesome!"

"But how do we do that when the Innocence and the Akuma are one and the same?" Allen asked quietly, still going with Lavi's movements.

Lavi faltered, but then he continued with a smile.

"Don't worry about it, we'll find a way."

* * *

The train began to rumble on tracks, signaling that it was prepared to leave. Allen stood awkwardly next to Lenalee and Kanda, both teenagers taller than him and holding bags that were just for necessity. He watched as Bookman fondly smacked Lavi on the head as a warning to not screw up. The white-haired teen smiled at the redhead, who came jogging up to the three, Komui not far behind. 

Lenalee cocked an eyebrow in suspicion. "Komui, you never say goodbye to us at the train station. What's going on?" she asked cautiously.

The chief grinned at the exorcists. "Well, I just hope you kids are ready for this," he said.

Kanda snorted. "Just say what you have to say so we can get this shit over with,"

"Language, Kanda. Now, remember that the Innocence is ultimately powerful, possibly more powerful than you four _combined_. Try your best not to get killed, if possible." Komui stated.

Lavi grinned. "If Yuu can't kill me, then what makes you think that an Akuma can?"

Kanda rolled his eyes. "I never put any effort in killing you, moron. Besides, it's an Akuma and an Innocence at the same time, so you'll probably still die."

"I know you love me, Yuu, no matter how cruel your words are!"

Lenalee snorted. "You're delusional, Lavi," she teased. "I think it's time to board the train now, so we've got to go. Be safe, Komui," and she stepped on the train, her bag at her side.

Allen nodded. "Of course, goodbye Komui!"

Lavi waved. "See ya, Chief!"

Kanda walked onto the train. Lavi sniffed.

"How anticlimactic," he muttered. Allen laughed and led his friend onto the train, both of them smiling.

"So, where are we going?" Lenalee asked the moment the two boys sat.

Lavi puckered his bottom lip as he remembered the exact location with a Bookman's accuracy. "We'll be going to Konoha, an unknown civilization in an archipelago among Japan," he explained, his voice taking on an almost mechanical tone. Kanda looked pensively out the train window.

"And what're we supposed to do there?" he snapped. Lavi shrugged.

"If I knew, I'd tell you," he replied.

Allen just tapped on his knee, looking down. Lavi nudged him, grinning brightly.

"What'cha thinkin' about?" he asked lightly. Allen looked up at him, ceasing in his tapping.

"I'm just wondering about our target," he confessed. "I'm hoping that we won't be required to kill the target to remove the Innocence. And I'm hoping that we can get to the Innocence before the Earl does as well."

Kanda gazed at him. "Idiot, of _course_ we'll get to the Innocence before that grinning fool," he snapped.

Lenalee giggled and Lavi leaned over to whisper in Allen's ear. "Notice how he completely avoids the first part of your thoughts," he murmured. Kanda glared at him.

"Dumbass, try being quieter when you whisper in someone's ear, I can hear you clearly," he growled.

Lavi leaned back to the white-haired boy's ear. "And he's _still_ avoiding it!"

Kanda faced completely towards Lavi, eyes narrowed angrily. "Shut the fuck up, idiot!"

Lavi chuckled, and Lenalee swatted at him to get him quiet.

After a long moment of silence, Lavi opened his mouth.

"Let's play a game!" he exclaimed.

Kanda scowled. "How about we play Shut-the-Fuck-Up-Or-Get-Fucking-Stabbed-By-Mugen? The rules are simple; you shut the fuck up or get fucking stabbed by Mugen."

Allen smiled nervously as Lavi opened his mouth to make a comment and slammed his hand over the one-eyed teen's mouth. "Hey, that sounds fun! Let's play!"

Kanda rolled his eyes and the four continued their silence until they reached the boat port.

* * *

One week later, they were still traveling. 

"Why're we _walking_ to this place?" Lenalee snapped, swatting at the flies that surrounded them as they trekked through a forest in Japan.

Kanda made an annoyed sound. "It's the bean sprout's fault," he glared at Allen. "If he hadn't have gotten us lost then we wouldn't have taken the wrong boat and we'd fucking _be_ there by now!"

Allen glared at Kanda. "Why won't you get over that? I _said_ I was sorry, you bully!"

"Bully? Ran out of insults, bean sprout?"

"My name is Allen and I prefer to have more class among my speech than you!"

"Fuck you, bean sprout! I'd like to see you function without my classless speech when you face these people with _my_ mother language!"

"Fine, I still have Lavi!"

Lavi jerked away. "Hey, keep me out of this!"

"Would you all just _shut up_?!" Lenalee snarled. Allen paused in his shaking of Lavi's shoulders and Kanda stood stock still.

And all was quiet.

Until a whizzing sound was heard and an oddly shaped dagger was slammed right into Allen's cursed hand.

Allen looked down. "Um, ow."

Kanda assumed a fighting stance and Lavi grabbed his hammer from his hip. Allen pulled the dagger from his hand and looked around the dark forest closely, searching for any Akuma or signs of life.

"Watch out, Allen!" Lenalee yelled, kicking him ungracefully out the way of another dagger. The white-haired exorcist hit the ground and rolled away from the others, jumping up and activating his eye. A golden geared monocle developed over his left eye and twisted as Allen searched carefully.

"Innocence activate!" Kanda yelled, running two of his fingers over the blade of his sword. A quick flash to the right told Allen where was needed to strike next.

The cursed teenager felt his arm grow to a large size and form a barrel. Pointing the barrel towards the trees at the right of them, he warned the others.

"This way!" he exclaimed.

"_Big Hammer Little Hammer: Grow, grow, grow!_" a call sounded and an enormous hammer slammed right into the trees that Allen had pointed out. Lavi hopped off the handle of the hammer and shrunk it back to normal size.

"Did I get them?" he asked as he trotted back to the others.

Lenalee ran to the demolished trees and kicked them away, exposing an unconscious body. "I found someone!" she yelled back. The three boys rushed to her and got a good look at the figure lying on the ground. The person was breathing harshly and the orange and black jumpsuit that the attacker wore was torn and ripped in many places.

Lavi whistled. "I think I killed him," he whispered.

Allen just stared at the person. Kanda glared at him.

"Why the hell are you staring at it like that?" he snapped.

Allen looked up. "Guys, I think we found our target."


	2. Chapter 2

"English speech, because it's easy."

"_Japanese speech, because I don't feel like pretending I know the language._"

_

* * *

_

_Chapter Two_

Lavi rolled the attacker over with his boot, cocking an eyebrow at the grimy face of the young looking man.

"Did I seriously kill our target?" Lavi wondered aloud. Lenalee dropped down to her knees and felt around his neck for a pulse. A few moments of silence passed and Lenalee let out a sigh of relief.

"He's still alive," she said with a smile. Kanda snorted and sheathed his sword.

"Why the hell are we just sitting around here, catering to the enemy like sitting ducks?" he snapped.

Allen rolled his eyes and gently grabbed one of the attacker's arms while Lavi held up the other by the shoulder. "Well, in retrospect, he isn't as much of the enemy as he is the target, so perhaps you should try looking at it from that perspective, you uncultured oaf."

Kanda choked back a roar of anger and glared at Allen. "You know what? You talk big despite your height."

Allen flinched. He _was_ rather sensitive about that fact. Kanda smirked and cocked an eyebrow at the obvious height difference between Lavi and Allen, causing the young man being held between them on their shoulders to droop down on Allen's side, one leg going as far as to drag on the ground.

He clicked his tongue condescendingly and pushed Allen away from the target, grabbing the arm and heaving it over his own shoulder.

Allen glared. "What did you do that for?!" he snapped.

Kanda snorted. "Obviously, bean sprout, you're too short to insure that the target is less injured than he is now, so I decided that some more suitable help was in order."

Allen opened his mouth to respond, but Lenalee practically smacked his mouth by covering it, fixing him with a leveled glare.

"He's trying to be helpful, so don't make him angrier!"

The white-haired teenager looked at her oddly and she nodded. Allen was more surprised that the older teenager could even process help, so he left it at that. Lenalee smiled at him and took her hand off his mouth. She walked ahead, obviously searching for some sort of trail and Allen activated his eye, looking for any sign of Akuma that might be able to lead them to the main center of the forest.

After about thirty minutes of searching, the young exorcists were rather irritated.

Lavi groaned as the target's weight began to weigh in on him. "Where the hell did he come from? Did he jump through the trees or something?"

Allen laughed at the mere absurdity of the statement and examined the young man between the two older boys. His face was covered in dirt and his outrageous outfit was dirty and torn. The white-haired teen could almost not believe that someone like this could be both the Akuma and the Innocence.

A small grunt escaped the target and Allen felt his breath hitch.

"I think he's waking up!" he announced in excitement. Kanda and Lavi stopped abruptly and gently let the target down to the ground, leaning him against a large tree. The breathing of the young man became steady and they watched as his eyes fluttered open, revealing a pair of bright blue pupils.

He opened his mouth, but blood dribbled out and he looked at the four exorcists with heavy lidded eyes. His mouth moved, but the red liquid just split from between his lips, sliding down his chin. Lenalee made a move to help him but Kanda held out his arm, frowning.

"He's trying to talk, and attempting to stop the blood from coming out his mouth will only cause a high probability that his internal organs will somewhat flood and his stomach acids will work harder, causing deterioration of his stomach lining." Kanda explained. Lavi chuckled nervously and scratched his chin.

"I really did a number on him, didn't I?"

Allen wasn't listening, as the blue eyes were staring right at him and his jaw hanging limply open. The target's eyes had closed slowly, and the teenagers almost thought that he died. But the eyes snapped back open, this time a demonic red color and a sick smile twisted on his lips.

"Aren't _we_ lost?" he asked in perfect English, his voice carrying a low pitch; lower than most humans were capable of.

Kanda gripped his Mugen cautiously, glaring at the weak man on the ground.

The target laughed, blood almost pouring out his mouth. "No need to get dangerous, exorcist… I just want to…_help_ you." The target said, sitting up higher with some difficulty.

Allen coughed into his fist, his eyes darting around nervously. "Hello, we're from the Black Order. We're attempting to reach a civilization called Konoha, and we have been lost for quite a while," he explained nervously.

The target stopped smiling and looked dead at Allen, his nose twitching and a sniffing sound following.

The mocking grin returned. "So _you're_ the cursed one… more delicious than I ever could've expected, for the record," he licked his lips, smearing the blood over his mouth. "As for Konoha, technically you're already in the area, but a trail moreover three meters to the right should lead you to the village."

Lenalee looked suspicious. "Is there any particular reason that we should believe you?"

The target raised an eyebrow slowly. "Other than the fact that I'm severely injured and obviously need help getting to the village so I may obtain the proper healing before I die, not really,"

Lavi snickered. "I can respect that, making a joke while blood spurts out your mouth," he gently grabbed the target's arm and pulled him up, Kanda cautiously coming up beside him.

Red-eyes squinted in amusement at the long-haired teen. "Do you not trust me, exorcist?"

Kanda tightened his hold on Mugen and glared at the target. "For the record, no." And he grabbed the other arm, lifting him up with no trouble. The target laughed; the dried blood on his chin chipping with the movement.

"You guys are a real riot," and his eyes drooped closed, his body weight becoming suddenly heavy and Lavi yelped in indignation.

"Couldn't he have warned us before he passed out?" the redhead griped as they pulled the young man along, Allen and Lenalee scoping out for a trail.

Lenalee grinned in happiness as she caught sight of a dirt road. "He really _was_ telling the truth!" she exclaimed. "I was just under the impression that he was a creepy bastard trying to lead us into a trap!"

Kanda glowered at the road. "I still think he's a creepy bastard trying to lead us into a trap," he grumbled. Lavi laughed.

"You're just paranoid, Yuu."

"We'll see whose paranoid when we get attacked at you'll be laughing while blood leaks from the knife wounds in your arms and you general body."

"Wow, you should make a career out of that."

"Out of what exactly, you moron?"

"Killing the mood."

No more words were exchanged as Kanda glared at Lavi, making the one-eyed boy shut his mouth with a mischievous smile.

The four (five, if you count the half-dead man being trailed along with them) walked down the winding trail, watching the ground become darker, the trees become more prominent, and the sky become brighter.

"This is a premonition," Lavi announced as they walked. The others looked at him oddly.

"A premonition…?" Allen asked slowly. Lavi nodded his head, smirking.

"Yes, this is God's way of saying we're going to be attacked in a few moments, because the scene is getting steadily darker."

A silence followed and Kanda let out a snort.

"He's speaking in idiot. Don't try and understand him."

Everyone except Lavi nodded in agreement, the redhead sputtering in displeasure.

"Hey!" he exclaimed. "I could damn well be telling the truth while you guys are mocking me!"

Allen covered his mouth in urgency. "Lavi, of course we're going to be attacked now! You're too loud!"

A whizzing sound was heard for a split second before Allen's cursed arm was once again stabbed with an oddly shaped dagger.

The white-haired teenager groaned in exasperation as he pulled the dagger out of his arm. "They need to get a better target!" he grumbled. Kanda growled underneath his breath and the three exorcists glared at Lavi.

The one-eyed exorcist grinned. "Told you."

The oldest almost let out a feral snarl and unleashed Mugen, pointing it directly at Lavi's throat, his black eyes blazing with passionate hate.

"If we survive this," he pressed the sword to his throat harder. "I promise you on my honor that you will be severely injured and unable to walk for weeks when we are done with this!"

The redhead twirled his small hammer skillfully in his hands and fluttered his eyelid at Kanda. "Oh, I know you love me, Yuu-bear!"

Allen felt his arm grow and stretch to a monstrous size and he tossed a panicked look at Lavi.

"May we finish fighting, and _then_ we can continue with our thoughts of suicide?!" Allen asked in a worried tone. Lavi snickered and jumped in the air with practiced ease.

"**Big Hammer Little Hammer: Grow, grow, **_**grow!**_" he shouted, the small hammer expanding to an extremely large size and Lavi landed on it skillfully. He threw a wink at Allen who stood next to his hammer in battle position. The target lay between Allen and the hammer, as for protection.

"I'll behave, just for you, bean sprout!"

Allen rolled his eyes and hid a smile. Lenalee sped beside him, waiting for the enemy to make its next move.

They didn't have to wait long, as a barrage of the oddly shaped daggers exploded through the trees, coming at the four at a high speed. Allen forced his hand to become even large and sliced through the air, the momentum causing most of the daggers to reflect off the sudden burst of air. As for the other daggers, Allen had covered himself protectively with his arm and the other three stood precautious on the edge of Lavi's hammer.

Kanda jumped off and with a single clean slice, he wiped out most of the trees on one side of the road. Several people stumbled through the rubble that was once their protection and looked at the four incredulously.

Lenalee sighed and wiped at her forehead. "Kanda, can you just talk to them and convince them that we come in peace?" she asked irritably. "I'm getting tired of watching Allen get arm-stabbed and getting attacked by these crazy monkey-men who fight from the trees!"

Kanda scowled at her. "Why don't you try shutting up and letting me do what I need to first?" he snapped, but regretted it, as you never snap at a snappish woman.

Lenalee began to stalk up to him menacingly, but Kanda coughed into his fist and turned towards the injured men on the ground that stared at him in awe and disgust.

"_Call off your men, we come in peace,_" Kanda explained in Japanese, bowing his head in submission.

One of the men glared at him. "_You are intruders!_" he spat. "_We are assigned to eliminate all intruders!_"

Kanda snorted and fingered his sword's handle. "_I'd rather not have to plow through you and your men, if you understand what I mean._"

Allen looked at the event in amazement and turned to Lavi.

"What's he saying?" he asked.

"He's threatening them, since they think we're trying to attack them."

"Oh. Maybe he should explain how we have one of their men?"

"Good idea!" the redhead jabbed a thumb at the target. "Hey Yuu, tell them that we have one of their men!"

Kanda nodded and narrowed his eyes. "_If you refuse to allow us to pass, we will finish you and the hostage we hold off._"

"_You have no hostage! There are no chakra signs that surround _any_ of you!_" the angry one growled.

Lavi moved away, pulling Allen with him, and exposed the limp body of the hostage. The attacker's eyes widened and one of the younger looking ones got to his knees and bowed.

"_We apologize. We will surrender and take you to the village, but refrain from killing off Naruto,_" he said. He was immediately smacked over the head by his angry subordinate.

"_You fool! They are intruders!_" he snarled.

The younger one rolled his eyes. "_And they can easily kill us, if they wanted to. I truly believe that they come in peace, Shinobu_."

Shinobu glared at him and whipped back around to Kanda, who tapped his foot with an air of impatience.

"_If you even _try_ to raise your sword, we will not hesitate to kill you._" Shinobu grounded out. Kanda nodded and sheathed his sword.

"_The same for you. Now, lead us to Konoha,_" Kanda demanded and nodded at the other three exorcists. Lenalee and Lavi heaved up the young man to their shoulders and Allen blinked in confusion.

"What's going on?" he asked as he followed the others.

Lavi grinned. "Kanda struck up a deal, one of those you-kill-we-kill deals, and they're leading us to the village."

"Oh, okay then."

Allen refrained from commenting that it seemed to be much too easy, due to the fear of ruining their current success.

------------

The large gate loomed over the exorcists, all of them feeling the adrenaline of excitement course through their blood. Shinobu glared at the exorcists and snapped something at Kanda in Japanese, making the black-haired teenager nod in understanding.

Allen was tired of needing a translator already. "Lavi, what did he say to Kanda?" he asked.

"He told us to stay here, since he's going to get the village leader."

The white-haired exorcist nodded and they waited in front of the gate. Lavi entertained himself by letting go of the target's arm and catching him before he toppled over to the ground and Lenalee smacked him for being so inconsiderate.

Soon the gate creaked open slowly. Allen watched in awe as a single person stood on the other side of the gate, arms crossed.

"Exorcists," the person called in English, the voice obviously female. "Come forward."

The four walked up to the woman, eyes widening at the complete view they got of her. She stood tall, blonde hair in a loose ponytail and she wore an odd outfit. But that wasn't what amazed them the most. Lenalee covered her chest with her arms in jealousy, Kanda looked anywhere _but_ at the woman's chest, and Allen couldn't _not_ look at her chest, since it took a lot of self control to accomplish that much.

Lavi, well, he was just himself.

"_My type!_" he exclaimed in Japanese, running towards the woman with his arms wide open, which meant dropping his side of the target. The woman's brown eyes twitched and she slammed a fist into the oncoming redhead's face. Lavi practically flew and skidded along the ground, coming to a stop at his subordinates' feet.

Allen almost panicked. "Are you all right?"

Lavi sighed in happiness.

"I'm in _love_…"

--------------

_End note:_ Shinobu is _not_ an OC. He's a chuunin that fought during the Hidden Sand/Sound attack. He's just unimportant, that's all.


	3. Chapter 3

"Once again, English speech in this format."

"_And Japanese in this format."_

_Chapter Three_

Kanda stepped forward, hand clenched tightly to his Innocence. The others watched carefully, hoping that whatever he was planning to do was rational and completely sensible.

He narrowed his eyes at the busty woman. "_We came in peace, yet you dare to attack one of us first?_" he demanded angrily.

Lavi rolled his one eye and held his bleeding nose. Lenalee smacked her forehead. And Allen was just confused.

"What did he say?" Allen asked Lavi. The redhead snickered.

"He's making a big deal over me getting punched," Lavi explained. "If anything, I righteously deserved it, trying to hug a woman from a warrior village. She could claim its self-defense, or something."

The woman stood tall. "Exorcist, there is little need to speak in Japanese," she stated haughtily. "I notice that the sudden switch in language has managed to confuse one of your subordinates, if I must be truthful."

Kanda looked behind him at the waving Allen and turned right back around to the woman. "I honestly can't say I really care if my subordinates are just that slow," he remarked. Allen looked offended, but refrained from commenting. They needed to _not_ get into any fights, or their morale might decrease.

The woman looked amused. "I suppose that would be a natural remark from someone of your personality. Now, we should move towards my office," and suddenly six people in odd masks and outfits popped out of nowhere. "But I must take precautions." Two of the masked guards picked up the injured target from the ground and jumped high over the others, landing on the metal roof of a building.

The group of exorcists stood warily in the mist of the other guards, their faces cautious.

Allen leaned in at an angle where the others would be able to hear him whisper. "Are we doing the right thing, following this woman?" he asked silently.

Kanda let out a light snort. "Trust is not an option in this foreign land, bean sprout," he replied. "Don't allow such a simple word get in the way, as nothing is here that we can truly trust."

Lavi snickered as they began to walk. "Looks like someone has trust issues!" he remarked.

Kanda's fingers twitched on Mugen's handle. "Shut the fuck up," he snarled.

"Yet, it's true isn't it?" Lavi retorted with a smile. Kanda glared angrily at the redhead and stepped closer to him.

"I said shut up!" he growled.

"I _trust_ you did…" Lavi mocked, and Allen became of aware of Lavi's nonexistent death perception.

He stepped in between Kanda and Lavi before the Japanese exorcist could do anything, his arms wide. The guards stiffened at the motion, obviously ready for a sudden attack.

"Don't do _anything_ violent or suspicious!" Allen whispered harshly. "We have to seem like a nice group, or they'll begin to suspect us as enemies!"

They continued walking, but the feuding two moved farther away from each other. The guards visibly became less tense and the woman turned around suddenly in front of a large building. She smirked at the teenagers and the guards disappeared in wisps of smoke.

"Your young partner speaks the truth," she said. "Our village is actually very paranoid of newcomers such as yourselves, and we're especially cautious in cases of large examples of strength, in your example again."

The woman opened the door to the building. "Stick together, because anything we're too suspicious of… we have a bad habit of getting rid of." Her threat hung ominously and the exorcists immediately tensed up. She laughed at their actions.

"Relax; I'm not suspicious of you kids _yet_," she opened another door in the building and motioned for them to enter. Once all four were inside the room, she shut the door and smiled at the quartet.

And then she disappeared in a wisp of smoke.

Kanda immediately grabbed his sword's handle, ready to attack if needed. After a full minute, the four stood warily in the middle of the room, wondering where the woman had gone.

"Behind you, exorcists."

The four turned around and saw the woman sitting calmly in a chair behind a large desk, a small cup in her hand.

She smirked. "I bet you're wondering what just happened, right?" she asked. Allen nodded, paranoid that she might pull another magic trick on them.

"What you just saw was an example of ninjutsu," she explained. "Ninjutsu is one of the many abilities that I possess. But I am not the only one, as many in the village can utilize ninjutsu and other variations of jutsu as well. And there are many other villages that contain members of jutsu users also."

Lenalee rubbed her forehead. "What exactly are you trying to say to us, miss?"

The lady smiled, sipping at her cup. "It's pretty simple, actually," she replied. "I'm saying this: Konoha is a ninja village, I am a ninja, and there are many other ninja villages out there as well."

She glared at Lenalee. "And don't call me _miss_. That makes me feel old. Call me Tsunade," she looked at the others. "And your names are?"

Lenalee stepped forward first, bowing her head in submission. "My name is Lenalee Lee," she said.

Lavi curtsied flamboyantly. "Lavi, at your service ma'am!" he cooed, smiling brightly.

Allen mimicked Lenalee by bowing. "Allen Walker, Miss Tsunade."

Kanda was last and spoke in a terse voice. "Kanda Yuu," and he stepped back.

Tsunade grinned at the four. "Great! At least three out of four have manners!" she remarked.

Allen blushed. "Thank you, Miss Tsunade. I can only assume you know what we are here for if already knew our occupations, of course?" he asked.

"Yeah. Another exorcist came by, a really sexy guy if I don't say so myself, and warned me about the whole situation with the… Akuma, they're called?" several nods from the four in front of her confirmed her thoughts. "Right, the Akuma. He said that the Black Order would be sending exorcists here in time, which was sooner than expected actually, since the man _just_ left about a day or two ago."

Allen sighed heavily. "Did you get the exorcist's name by any chance?" he asked in a frustrated tone.

Tsunade smiled. "Why yes, I did! General Cross Marian, if my memory serves me correctly."

Allen slumped over. Lavi patted his back in sympathy.

"It's okay, bean sprout… we'll get'em one day!" he said encouragingly.

The white-haired exorcist just shook his head. "How does he _always_ do that?" he demanded. "He always disappears by the time I get there! It's bloody insane!"

Lenalee snickered. "Aww, do you want a hug?" she cooed in amusement. Allen scowled playfully.

"No…I want a Cross Marian." And he sighed unhappily. Tsunade grinned as she poured more drink into the cup on her desk.

"I'm sorry Allen, if I had known that he was important to you, I would've stalled him a bit longer."

Kanda shrugged. "You didn't know, and General Cross has magical powers of escape or some shit like that when it comes to other exorcists being within a hundred miles of him," he explained.

Allen sighed. "I'd actually laugh if that weren't true."

The busty blonde woman laughed joyously and gulped down her drink quickly.

"You kids're great!" she exclaimed, her voice slightly slurred. "Now, we just gotta find a place for you guys to stay for your time being."

"Why can't we just stay in an inn?" Lenalee asked. "We always do that when we're on long term missions."

Tsunade looked at them oddly. "You think we're just going to put you four, who have weapon of extreme mass destruction if I have to remind you about the large chunk of forest that's missing, in an inn with close to no supervision?" she shook her head. "You must be insane. You'll all be stationed with certified _jounin_ until the end of your mission. We don't take chances. Sorry."

Allen blinked in confusion. "_Jounin_? What is that, if I may ask?" he questioned sheepishly.

Tsunade smacked her forehead. "Sorry kid, I keep forgetting that you all aren't from here. A _jounin_ is a high-ranking ninja, just below the _ANBU_ and the _Hokage_, which is me, by the way. _Chuunin _and _genin_ are below the level of _jounin_, and we have ninjas who do not yet have a ranking because they have yet to graduate from the Ninja Academy. Do you understand?"

Allen nodded slowly. "I believe I do… So, what is a certified _jounin_?" he asked.

"The certified _jounin_ are the extremely capable ones. They're strong, clever, know English, and can keep a close watch on you kids while still doing their job."

Lavi snickered. "Think you have one that can handle Kanda over here?" he asked teasingly.

The blonde leader smirked. "Oh _yes_… I know the perfect one."

The tone of her voice did _not_ make Kanda feel any better inside.

The door burst open and a young dark-haired woman came rushing inside, her arms laden with papers.

"_Hokage-sama__, you need to complete your paperwork! Instead of lazing about and drinking sake!_" she scolded, placing the papers on Tsunade's desk neatly.

The blonde frowned. "But _Shizune_… it was only two cups…or three… or maybe five, hold on, I've got to remember."

Kanda shook his head and whispered a few things under his breath. Lavi elbowed him innocently.

"What'd you say?" he asked quietly while the leader was occupied.

"I knew this woman had something iffy about her."

"…Are you going to tell me what it is?"

"She's an alcoholic. The woman's been drinking _sake_ this entire time, nonstop."

Lavi choked back a laughed, making Tsunade snap her eyes to the whispering two.

"Something you'd like to say, _Kanda_?"

Kanda stared at her. "You've been drinking alcohol this entire time," he deadpanned.

Tsunade shrugged. "And? Does it prevent me from doing my job?"

Shizune crossed her arms. "Obviously it does, _Hokage-sama_. These papers need to be completed by tomorrow or we'll have a lot of issues, _Hokage-sama_!"

"All right! All right!" the blonde muttered. "I'll do it already!"

Shizune smiled sweetly. "Thank you _so_ much, _Hokage-sama_! You're such a great leader!"

Tsunade waved her away. "Yeah, yeah. Just, assign those kids to the top _jounin_."

The black-haired woman nodded her head. "Of course. Anything else?"

The busty woman smirked. "Yeah, and I want to make a specific request. Assign Hatake Kakashi to Kanda Yuu over there. The tall, dark, brooding one with the sword."

Shizune looked at Kanda, who glared angrily at her, and back at the _Hokage_. "Are you sure that's the best choice, _Hokage-sama_?"

"Best? Ha! It's better than best! You, on the other hand, can choose _jounin_ according to personality as well. Just, choose wisely, okay?"

Shizune smiled brightly. "You can count on me, _Hokage-sama_!"

"I was hoping so. Now get moving!"

------------

"Who do you think this Hatake Kakashi is?" Lenalee asked as they sat in the lobby of the tower. Kanda shrugged his response, glaring ahead at everything and gripping his sword's handle lightly as these 'ninjas' popped in and out of his peripheral vision.

He clicked his tongue against his teeth. "_Tsk_. I don't know, and I don't care. He's probably a strict character, someone who doesn't do nonsense or some crap like that. Type of person _everyone_ tries to use on me."

Allen smiled. "Hmm…maybe I'll get someone nice! Or even better, someone who can cook!" his stomach grumbled at the thought.

"Nice dreams, bean sprout, but this is reality here," Kanda gruffly answered, slouching down on his elbows against his knees. "We're being babysat by a bunch of adults because _they_ think we're going to kill someone."

"Are you?" a voice asked from above. They all looked up to see a silver-haired man looking down on them, a headband and a mask covering most of his face. He jumped down from the ceiling skillfully and landed in front of the four.

"_Yo_," he greeted, his mask wrinkling in a smile. "Which one of you is Kanda Yuu?"

Lavi immediately pointed at Kanda, who glared at him heatedly.

"Hey, he just jumped from the _ceiling_! I'm not getting stuck with this guy at all!" Lavi exclaimed. "Take'em!"

The ninja chuckled. "No worries, no worries," he replied. "I get that a lot."

He turned to Kanda. "Hey there Yuu, I'm Hatake Kakashi, and I'll be your fulltime stalker for your stay."


	4. Chapter 4

_Chapter Four_

"Allen Walker-_san_, please keep your head up," a tall, brown-haired man with milky white eyes commanded. "You'll look suspicious just staring at the ground."

Allen straightened his shoulders and looked straight ahead. "Yes Hyuuga sir, of course!" he replied.

Hiashi Hyuuga gazed at him with emotionless eyes. "Curb your enthusiasm, please. I'd rather you not look suspicious because then _I'd_ look odd walking about with a suspicious person."

The young exorcist nodded his head. "Of course sir, I'd rather not cause you any discomfort during my stay."

Hiashi made an approving sound. "Indeed," he replied. "Now, we are to be arriving at the Hyuuga compound in but moments, and I'd like to set a few rules with you."

"Of course, sir."

"If you are caught doing _anything_ suspicious, you will be reported to the Hokage immediately by myself or any other of my family members."

"I understand."

"Good. You are also expected to be on your best behavior, which should be in high regards since you are English, correct?"

"Yes sir, around Manchester and Britain I believe."

"Hmm, I did come across Manchester once on my way to Stratford."

"Interesting." Oh God, was this man going to give him rules or speak of his travels? Allen just wanted to know.

"I have a nephew who lives with me in my household. He is of sixteen years, and he will teach you the way of the shinobi and the Japanese, for if you are to live with me, then you shall at least learn to live a little like me."

"I am overly excited." Allen replied blandly.

Hiashi frowned. "Indeed you are," he said condescendingly. "Now, these are the Hyuuga estates,"

Allen looked up to see a large compound full of elegant houses. And then he actually did get excited.

"Curb your enthusiasm, Walker-_san_."

Allen could already fell the fun draining from his attitude.

* * *

Lenalee walked along the town beside a young, beautiful woman with red eyes and wavy black hair.

"Kurenai-_san_, is there really any particular reason why we had to have been split up? Honestly?" she asked, ignoring the looks she attracted from the men who stared at her as she passed.

Yuuhi Kurenai laughed. "You must be joking, kid!" she replied. "Keeping the enemy apart is much more effective than keeping them together so that they can do things like plot and wage war on us."

"So…we're still the enemy, huh?" So much for hospitality.

Kurenai shrugged. "No offense to you, Lenalee, but we've had a lot of betrayals and civil wars in this village. We want to preserve the peace, which means as people we cannot afford to not be suspicious."

Lenalee had to agree with her words, even though she was still just a little uncomfortable with being the enemy.

As exorcists, they were used to suspicious stares and outright glares, but they have never _truly_ been the enemy as they are here.

"All right Lenalee, here's my place," the _jounin_ said, motioning towards the small apartment they had arrived at. "It might be a little messy."

The Chinese girl snorted. Her brother was _Komui_ for goodness sakes! If anything, messy would be mild compared to the chief of headquarters.

The door was opened and Lenalee was ushered in first, the door closing behind Kurenai.

_Never mind, _Lenalee thought in horror. _Messy doesn't even BEGIN to cover this._

The floor was littered with various food packages, both empty and unopened. Trash was everywhere, and it didn't even smell weird.

In fact, the place smelled like…

"Do you smoke, by any chance?" Lenalee asked. Kurenai froze at the question.

"No," she replied with a smile. "But I knew someone who did. Someone really close to me."

The exorcist nodded. "So you light cigarettes in their memory?" she wondered.

"Yeah, it almost feels like he's still here."

"Hmm…" Lenalee hummed in thought, thinking about the young woman's words.

She shook her head and grinned. "How about we start cleaning this place up?"

"Are you _sure_ about that?"

* * *

"So, where're we going?" Lavi asked as a rather bright man led him cheerfully down the streets of Konoha. "I kinda forgot your name, sorry." 

The _jounin_ grinned brightly. "Not to worry, my exuberant young friend!" he crowed happily. "I am the Green Beast of Konoha, Maito Gai, and I am leading you down the path of ENLIGHTENMENT!"

Lavi cocked his eyebrow. "Seriously, where are we going? People are _staring_." _At your horrible, horrible __green __spandex. Does anyone in this village have a fashion sense?_ He added in his head.

Gai laughed loudly. "Let them stare! I am but one of the most youthful in this village, there forth they must stare in ENVY!"

_Oh HELL no._ "Uh huh, well, I'm Lavi."

"Oh, I know! They already informed me of your status and what your mission is!"

"Really? Then, why split us up?"

"BeCAUSE, if we didn't, you would all be much more suspicious and un-YOUTH FILLED."

Lavi thought about those words. "So, are we ever allowed to see each other?" he asked carefully.

Gai chuckled. "Of course! It wouldn't do to just SEPARATE you and your youthful entities!"

_Kanda would kill you if he found out that you just called him an entity_. "Well, that's good, at least. By the way, where are we?"

The bowl-cut man thrust his hand out, pointing at a small wooden house in the scattered trees. "THIS is my ever honorable household!" he announced. "And YOU shall be accompanying me for the length of your mission!"

Lavi almost paled.

_Note to self: TELL KANDA ABOUT THE WHOLE ENTITY THING._

* * *

Kanda stared at the masked man in front of him, refusing to budge a muscle.

Kakashi grinned at the young man, waving a cup of ramen in his face.

"Aren't you hungry, Yuu?" he asked mockingly. "I mean, it must've been a _pretty_ long trip, and we're all human, right?"

The Japanese exorcist scowled. "I refuse to eat from the hands of someone who very well could be my enemy."

The masked ninja made a disapproving sound. "Oh, well that's too bad…" his mask twitched in the motion of a smirk. "But it's also pretty ironic, especially considering how you've been split up from your beloved teammates due to _our_ suspicious of _your_ morals."

"I love no one on that godforsaken team." Kanda spat.

Kakashi laughed. "Right, and I care." The man put the ramen in front of Kanda. "Now eat, you don't want to faint from malnutrition, now _do_ you?"

The sword-wielder just sneered. Kakashi shrugged.

"Suit yourself." And he stood up. He walked away, somewhere further in the apartment, and left Kanda there with the small cup of ramen sitting in front of him.

Kanda stared at the ramen evilly.

The ramen did not.

The Japanese man looked away and noticed the orange book that the bastard _jounin_ was reading earlier on the wooden floor.

"What the hell _is_ this?" he asked warily, picking up the book and flipping through the pages.

"Yo," Kakashi called, padding back into the room. Kanda jumped and hid the small book immediately.

"What the hell do _you_ want?" he asked acidly.

Kakashi stared at him. "Your futon is ready when you feel like sleeping," he replied blandly.

Kanda nodded. "Thank you for your hospitality." He bowed, and went out the door. The gentle thump of a body on the roof quelled any of Kakashi's suspicions.

Until he saw the lack of his favorite pornographic novel.

"That devil."

* * *

"This is your room for your stay. Do not forget where it is located, understood?"

"Yes, Hyuuga sir." This 'sir' thing was _really_ weighing in on Allen's nerves.

"Good. Dinner will be ready in about twenty minutes. Do take that time to get situated." Hiashi said firmly, but not unkindly.

Allen nodded. "Of course." Hiashi nodded once and moved fluidly down the hall, leaving Allen alone with his obvious lack of luggage, which was being held in the Hokage's Tower after being found by ninjas who were scouting out all the damage.

He took off his shirt, at least needing to feel free of the dirty cloth for a moment. Maybe Hiashi sent some clean clothes up for him, especially considering his real lack of them.

Next, he worked on his pants.

The moment he unbuttoned them, though, a familiar golden golem flew out of them.

"Timcampy?!" Allen asked, shocked.

"Um, wow." A voice commented from the doorway. Allen whipped his head around, blushing hotly.

"That isn't a usual occurrence!" he explained in a panic. "Honestly, there is nothing else down my pants!"

The pale-eyed young man at the door with long brown hair held up a hand. "Believe me when I say this, but I'd rather not see you take off your pants or anything that _might_ come out of them as well."

The British exorcist nodded and blushed even harder. "I honestly apologize, as I hadn't any idea that he would've popped out of there!" he said, motioning towards Timcampy, who was firmly clamped to the top of his head.

"I understand," the young man replied. "I'm Neji Hyuuga, by the way. I came here to deliver some fresh clothes for you, but instead I got an eyeful."

The white-haired teenager scratched behind his head bashfully. "I'm Allen Walker, nice to meet you."

"Likewise. Now, here is a new set of clothes for you to wear. _Please_ put them on correctly."

"Yes, Neji sir."

Neji cocked an eyebrow. "I'd rather you drop the 'sir', thank you," he stated curtly.

Allen furrowed his eyebrows. "Yes Neji?"

"It'll do, for now. Dinner will be ready soon. Come down as soon as you are finished dressing."

"Yes Neji."

This wasn't the nicest family he could've been stuck with, but maybe they had some good food to make up for it.

"I wonder how everyone else is doing."

* * *

"How do you _live_ in this filth?" Lenalee demanded as she dropped a moldy cup into a plastic bag.

Kurenai chuckled from her spot spawled out on a clean area of the floor. "Easy," she replied. "Like this." And she turned the page in the book she was reading.

The Chinese exorcist grumbled entirely un-ladylike and put her hands on her hips when she turned back to her caretaker.

"Where will I be sleeping, at least?" she asked.

"In my room, the same place I sleep."

"Aren't you afraid that I might attack you or something like that in your sleep?"

"_Are_ you?" Kurenai turned another page.

"Well, _no_, but—"

"Then that settles it. Are you tired now, or something?"

Lenalee stared at the still messy house and sighed. "In a few moments, I _just_ might be."

"All right then, you have fun with that."

* * *

Wooden floors, wooden walls, wooden _everything_. 

Even a wooden futon!

"I like your…wood?" Lavi said slowly.

"Ah yes, I ADORE my wooden décor!" Gai wiped a tear from his eye. "The beauty is outstanding!"

The redhead nodded, wanting nothing more than to get out of this house. "I agree," he replied. "The wood carries a…natural touch to it. Oooh, is that food?"

"Exactly my point! To live with nature is to become ONE with it! And no, that is not food, that is my wooden block."

"Oh. Well, will I be sleeping on this wood as well?"

"But of COURSE! You must learn to embrace nature and YOUTH during your stay!" Gai exclaimed. "I shall train you on this WONDERFUL topic with my best student, Rock Lee!"

Rock Lee didn't even _sound_ like a calm name.

What had he gotten himself into?

* * *

Kanda threw the now-empty cup of ramen down the roof, settling down on the topmost edge and balancing out his body. He opened the orange book (named Icha Icha Paradise, which sounded suspicious to Kanda) and stared at the pages intently, attempting to understand what the plot was about. 

He flipped the page.

"_Holy shit_!" he exclaimed in Japanese. The orange book slipped from his hands and fell down the roof.

A pale hand caught it.

"That should teach you to keep your hands off my stuff, Yuu." Kakashi scolded in obvious amusement from the ground.

Kanda glared at him. "_Pervert!_" he hissed, straightening his posture on the roof.

A deep laugh answered him.

_End Note: I had to make up some stuff in this chapter. For instance, I don't know where exactly in England he's from, but the __manga__ does state that he's British, so I improvised. I also don't know of any __jounin's__ living styles, since that is kept a tightly guarded secret in the series, OBVIOUSLY. _


	5. Chapter 5

All right, people who continuously ask if there are going to be pairings in this or not, the answer is quite simple.

I DON'T KNOW.

This story was a thing that I was always interested in trying; an action/adventure/humor fanfic with just story, dialogue, and plot. I wasn't exactly thinking about pairings when I started writing this, and I don't feel like starting now. Maybe later, but not now. Besides, who the hell would I pair? Kanda and Hinata? I don't think so, thank you.

Okay, I'm done.

Wait, no I'm not. Remember the drill, guys? "English speech is like this, with a few _emphasizes_ here and there," "_In comparison to Japanese speech, which is like this."_

Chapter Five

"…_Where does it all go?!_" Hanabi Hyuuga asked her older sister in Japanese as their polite guest put away two almost overflowing plates of food and was already halfway through his third plate.

Hinata Hyuuga stared. "_M-maybe he's r-r-really hungry_?" she replied, unsure of the answer herself. Naruto may have had quite the pit for a stomach, but this _Allen Walker_ topped him by overwhelming levels.

It was almost like he was eating for more than one person.

Hiashi, who was quite transfixed, broke out his trance as Allen wiped his face carefully with a napkin, his black gloves with a white cross design still on his hands despite the traditional white _gi_ and _hakkun_ outfit he wore.

"Walker-_san_," he spoke in a gruff voice, obviously irritated by something. "It is quite rude to don gloves at the table while a meal is being partaken."

The white-haired exorcist looked up; the napkin paused in his hand. "My apologies sir," he said with a smile. "It's just that, I have a certain hand condition that I'd rather not expose at your table."

"I see." Hiashi replied, watching the boy's hands return to the fork and knife already on the plate, as the man knew chopsticks would be damn near _impossible_ for him to use at this very moment. He crossed his arms with an air of authority. "Well?"

Allen stopped the fork. "Well what, sir?" he asked.

"Take off your gloves so that I may _see_ this hand condition of yours," Hiashi commanded, cocking an eyebrow as though asking him to deny his request.

"Uh, um, of course sir!" the exorcist stuttered, making away with the right glove first. All occupants of the table looked at the hand, and feeling slight confusion at its normalcy, as they expected something much worst.

"Now the left hand," the Hyuuga head commanded, flaring his chakra internally for the use of Byakugan.

Allen visibly hesitated, and took off his other glove, exposing the maroon disfigured hand, causing a few gasps to ring about the table.

Neji was almost amazed, as he had gotten a glimpse of it when he walked in on the fifteen-year-old, but it was quite interesting to the arm up close. "That's quite impressive," he told Allen, placing his chopsticks on top of his plate.

Hiashi felt his veins press against his skin around his eyes, and hestared intently at the boy's contorted arm, hissing in a breath.

_This is incredible!_ He thought. _There's a incredible amount of chakra pulsating in that arm alone, and the fact that nobody could feel it only exposes the fact that the arm is cloaking itself from the presence of others, combined with Walker-san's apparent discomfort with it's exposure as well._

"Very well," he said gruffly aloud. "You may put back on your gloves."

Allen smiled brightly at him and rushed to put on his Black Order gloves. Neji, who sat next to him on his right, stood up and bowed to the others at the table.

"_Thank you for the food_," he recited in Japanese, and walked out the room.

The pale boy watched him go, and Hinata watched him.

There was just something about him she couldn't place, and it wasn't related to his arm either.

The exorcist turned around, feeling her stare, and looked at her. He flashed a large smile at her, and went back to eating his food.

Hinata was glad she wasn't speaking as her face heated up, and she looked down at her plate as her sister and father looked at her curiously.

"_What's wrong with her?_" Hanabi asked her father.

He just shook his head.

* * *

"Kurenai-_san_!" Lenalee scolded her host. "I just cleaned the floor! Don't just drop your empty cup there!"

"Whoops," Kurenai muttered, picking up her discarded ramen cup. "Okay, so where do I put this again?"

"In the _trash_."

"Right, right," the _jounin_ said amusedly. "All right, I'm on it."

The woman stood up, the ramen cup in her hand. She walked about the room a bit, looked in the small kitchen, and walked back to the sitting room.

"Uh, where _is_ the trash, exactly?"

The Chinese exorcist rolled her eyes. "Next to you, Kurenai-_san_."

"Ah, well that makes sense."

Lenalee stretched out her legs, sighing. "I'm feeling really tired right about now," she said aloud.

Kurenai laughed. "Well I'd expect so, since you cleaned up everything by yourself, which I'm _really_ grateful for."

"Yeah." She yawned. "Where will I sleep, again?"

"It's still the early evening, do you really want to sleep?"

The thought process took exactly two seconds. "YES."

The red-eyed woman pursed her lips. "You're so boring," she said, shaking her head. "But if you _really_ want to sleep, follow me." She motioned her hand towards the short hallway and Lenalee got up and walked in that direction.

"This is my room," the _jounin_ announced, sliding open the thin door that led to an ordinary Japanese style bedroom. Except, there was only one futon.

"The other one is in the closet, I'm about to get it right now." Kurenai explained, as though she read Lenalee's mind.

"That'll be fine," Lenalee replied. "Just fine."

_I wonder how the others are._

* * *

"I imminently refuse to do anymore push-ups."

Gai gasped. "But, exercise only INDUCES greater health for all!" he proclaimed.

Lavi shook his head. "Sorry man, but I just can't feel my arms. How about we stop doing push-ups altogether and get some food?" he reasoned.

"AH! You must be hungry!" the green-donning man shouted, pumping his fist in the air. "I have the PERFECT meal for you, my youth-filled guest!"

_Please be meat, please be meat, please in the name of the Lord be meat._ "Uh, what is it?" he asked hopefully.

"Why, it is beef _yakisoba_ with _miso_ soup!"

_THANK YOU LORD, THANK YOU SO MUCH._ "That'll be great."

Gai smiled at him, obviously pleased with his answer. "I shall begin the preparations at once!" he announced, scurrying off to the kitchen.

The redhead gave him a thumb up. "Yeah… you do that."

And then he plopped on the wooden floor. "Ahhhh, dearest Allen, wonderful Lenalee, Yuu… I wonder how you are all doing?" he grumbled aloud. "I'm pretty sure Allen has freaked out his host family with either his eating habits or his arm or even both. Lenalee, is, uh, getting herself into some shit that she probably doesn't need to participate in."

"PROFANITY IS CURRENTLY NOT ALLOWED IN MY HOUSEHOLD!" the _jounin_ yelled from the kitchen.

"I'll be sure to remember!" Lavi replied back, loudly.

He returned to his musings. "And Yuu, well, uh, Yuu's uhhh… Geez, I don't know _what_ the heck Yuu's doing right about now!"

"NO CURSING!"

"I SAID _HECK_!"

* * *

"Yuu, just give me the book, okay?" Kakashi reasoned at the armed exorcist in the guest bedroom. "Everyone wins if you _give it up_ to me."

"I'd rather not," Kanda replied sardonically, smirking. "The plot's gotten interesting."

"I know, right?—wait, give me the book back!"

"…Hold on, I'm turning the page."

The silver-haired _jounin_ sighed. "I didn't want to do this, but you've made me resort to it," he said desolately. A moment passed after the statement, and Kanda cocked an eyebrow.

"Do what?" he asked.

Kakashi's mask twitched, signifying a smile. "_Nothing,_" he said in his native language, causing automatic suspicion.

"_What did you do!_"

"_I didn't do anything, Yuu._"

Kanda narrowed his eyes and stuck the book in the waistband of his pants. "_Now try to do something, you one-eyed bastard,_" he challenged.

The silver-haired man just laughed and walked off. This caused the resident exorcist to leap up and run to the door, sticking his flushed face out the opening.

"_Hey!_" he yelled. "Come back, you fucking paranoia-inducing bastard!"

"I'll wait until you're all tucked in bed, and then I'll do something."

"_FUCKING BASTARD!_"

* * *

When Allen woke the next morning, he was not refreshed and exhilarated, like he expected himself to be.

For, as one might've seen, he awoke to his left eye's pulsating pain.

"W-what's g-going on?" he asked himself as he tried to hold in his wildly revolving eye with his mutated hand. The exorcist hissed in pain as he clenched his hand on his skin, the black nails of the innocence slowly scratching through his skin.

"A-arren Walker?" a voice called from the doorway of his room. He turned his head, eye still covered.

"Yes?" he answered politely, regardless of the situation he was in.

A man stood in the doorway, obviously nervous.

"T-the H-hok-kah-g-geh needs to s-see you," he said, struggling in English with a thick Japanese accent.

Allen smiled. "Thank you, I shall go as soon as possible."

"I'm h-here to e-es-cor-cort y-you."

"Well then, please wait outside as I get ready then."

The man still stood there, unsure of what Allen had said.

Neji passed by him. "_Leave for a moment, he needs to get prepared._" He translated curtly, not stopping. The ninja nodded and left from the door, leaving Allen to thank Neji silently for his somewhat random entrance.

And he removed his hand from his eye, which calmed down finally.

The exorcist turned his head back towards the empty doorway.

"It looks like trouble."

* * *

"ALLEN!" Lavi cried happily. "LENALEE! ….Yuu!"

Kanda ignored him.

The redhead flung himself onto his smaller friend, whimpering. "Oh God, it was HORRIBLE!" he whined. "I had to do one-hundred and thirty-six push-ups until I could eat, and then I had to do one-hundred and fifty-seven push-ups to burn off the fat I just obtained!"

"How was the food?" Allen asked.

"Delicious, but that isn't the point!" Lavi exclaimed dramatically. "We MUST trade houses! You can take Spandex, and I'll take whoever you have!"

"The person I have is the head of a very prestigious family and does not tolerate loud noises, misbehavior, or poor manners in general." The other exorcist replied blandly.

"Oooh, sounds like you've got bad luck when it comes to getting the good families. Did they give you those clothes? Because you look good in white, for the record."

Allen blushed, smiling. "Thanks, and yes, they did give me these clothes. I'm only guessing you're not supposed to wear your knickers underneath these, because it seems like that kind of suit."

"Lucky you, I'm still in my pants and blasted undershirt, which was the least sweaty article of clothing on me, interestingly enough. Whoa, Lenalee, your outfit tops all of ours! Did your host lend them to you?"

Lenalee stuck out her tongue in a grin. "Why yes, I did." She made a faux-twirl, her black standard ninja outfit standing out on her. "Kurenai-_san_ was very lenient in lending them to me, but I guess that's what girls do. You guys have to go through it the hard way, ha!"

Lavi stuck out his tongue. "I'll get some more clothes soon enough!" he replied. "Oh yeah, and why haven't any of us interrogated Yuu?"

They turned to the tall, Japanese member of their team, who leaned against the wall reading a small orange book, obviously enraptured in it.

"Not touching." Allen said firmly.

"Seconded, because he looks pretty serious in whatever he's doing."

"Pah! You guys are wimps!" the redhead teased. "I'm just going to ask him a few questions, and it isn't _that_ dangerous."

The white-haired exorcist shook his head. "Right into the lion's den," he whispered, and Lenalee nodded in agreement.

"Hey Yuu, what're you reading?"

"Go away."

"Is it good?"

"Go away."

Lavi tried to get a look at the pages, but Kanda just straightened and held the book higher.

"Oh come _on_, it can't be something like _adult_ stuff, can it?"

A light line of pink came across Kanda's cheeks, and he scowled, bringing the book closer to his face.

Lavi backed away slowly. "Oh…my…God," he whispered. "No way, no way _possible_!"

"What happened?" Lenalee asked.

"I think Kanda's reading—"

A masked ninja popped into the lobby where they waited, smoke trailing around them. "The Hokage will see you now."

"_Thank you_," Kanda said in Japanese. "_We'll be right up._ Let's go, losers."

"Jerk," Allen whispered as he passed Kanda, who snapped his book closed and glared at the younger boy.

"Just keep moving, bean sprout."

* * *

"And this is all the luggage we recovered from the forest area, and I can only assume it belongs to you four." Tsunade said blandly.

Lavi immediately went for the suitcase he identified as his and slammed it open, his one eye opening in happiness. "Thank you God!" he cried, hugging his clothing. "I don't have to resort to spandex!"

The Hokage coughed back a laugh and looked at the other three. "I can only assume you are content with your living quarters?" she asked lightly.

"I'm, um, fine," Allen answered, scratching his chin nervously.

"I'm okay." Lenalee replied.

Kanda continued to read his book.

Tsunade cocked a blonde eyebrow. "Are you not going to answer?" she asked.

"I'm not going to answer." The eighteen-year-old retorted. "I'm reading."

"What in the world can you be reading… oh for goodness' sake, not _that_ book!"

Lavi turned around. "You know what he's reading?" he asked hopefully.

"Of course I know!" she snorted. "He's reading—"

_CHOMP_

Timcampy wiggled out Allen's loose shirt to bite on his shoulder, making the boy wince.

"Hey Tim," he greeted, tapping the golem on its small, golden head. "I guess you're reminding me to check us in with Komui, right?"

_CHOMP_

"You've got to learn to talk in gentler ways," Allen grumbled, prying the golem off his slightly red shoulder. "All right, get me Komui."

Timcampy wriggled a bit in Allen's hold, but he soon relented and a familiar voice was speaking though him.

"Hello?" Komui asked. "Have you all arrived yet?"

"Yeah, we're here," Lavi said, winking at the curious Tsunade. "We just got settled."

"Well that's great then," Komui said, pleased. "Tomorrow, get the Akuma report. We need to know what we're dealing with here, all right."

"As if we don't know." Kanda snapped grumpily.

"If that was Kanda, tell him that it's okay, I still appreciate him. I need the Akuma report in two days, so do not slack off."

"Understood," the exorcists chorused.

"Great." The chief stated. "And, Tsunade-_san?_"

"Yes?" Tsunade answered a little loudly, unused to Timcampy's abilities.

"I'm terribly sorry that we couldn't meet in person, but I can assure you that these exorcists are some of the best, so I can only hope you are the right person to leave them with."

The Hokage smiled. "Oh, you couldn't have done better. Now, all that's left is to get rid of these…Akuma, as you call them."

"Right! I appreciate all of your help, and if Kanda acts up, just call him an obscene nickname and he'll back right off."

"The HELL I will—" Kanda snarled.

"Good-bye." And Timcampy fluttered back to Allen's head, biting it lightly.

Tsunade smirked at Kanda.

"Ready for some work, Pony Tail?"


End file.
